A Life Time Of Hurt
by Marblez
Summary: Slash. StabuckApolloOC. A story in 3 parts which I am finding hard to sumarise. Conner joins the Galactica and feelings start to brew but all goes wrong after one drunken night, not to mention his unhappy past. Will everything sort itself out for him?


Disclaimer: I don't own Battlestar Galactica. I do own Conner, Joss and co.

**WARNING! SLASH AND ABUSE. NOT RAPE. **

A Life Time Of Hurt 

Part One.

He kept his head down as they were led from the docking bay up to the barracks room, letting his hair fall over the black eye that was incredibly painful. Not looking at the other new recruits in the mess he quickly changed into his new trainees uniform, keeping his back to the wall. The others had already made friends, were chatting with each other calmly as they changed and picked bunks.

"Um, is it alright if-um-if I have this one?" he spoke up quietly to them. They all turned towards him at once and he ducked his head nervously, "If it's not I'll have whichever ones l-left over." Damn his stutter! They blinked a couple of times, studying the small boy for a few seconds before one answered.

"Hey sure you can have that bed, you don't have to ask mate," he laughed slightly and stepped forwards, his hand out stretched. "I'm Kyall."

"C-Conner. Are you sure me h-having the bed's alright?" he didn't look up.

"Yeah, it's the bottom bed in the corner, it's not like it's one of the ones on high demand," another boy laughed loudly, "Like this bed which is now mine!" He jumped onto the top bed in middle of the room.

"Hey I want that bed!" another said angrily.

"Well I'm having it!" Conner ignored the others and sorted out his things, folding his nightclothes under his pillow, putting his books on the top shelf of his locker and his other clothes on the others. Then, lastly in fact he stuck the photo of his family taken before the destruction up on the inside of the door.

"Is that your family?" the man who had the locker next to his asked quietly.

"It was, it's just me, my youngest brother and papa left now, the rest died in the Leolan bombings," Conner's fingers gently touched the smiling faces of his mother, brothers and sisters. "I was eldest, then Alexis, Tatiana, Marie and Joss. They were all at home when it happened, papa, Joss and I weren't."

"I'm sorry about that," the man said with a sad smile, "I lost my parents as well, and my fiancé. I'm Elgin, I know your Conner." Conner turned to the other man and smiled shyly at him. "Whoa, where'd you get the shiner?"

"Walked into a pole." The answer was quick but Conner smiled as he said it. "I'm a little accident prone, think that might be a problem?" Elgin just laughed and patted the smallest cadet on the shoulder.

"This is a simple entrance exam to make sure that you are definitely suitable to be a pilot, if not it will indicate an area where you would be able to go. You have one centar," Apollo said to the seated group of young men and women. Immediately they began typing their answers into their consoles, Conner included.

"How many of these look promising?" Starbuck asked quietly.

"Most of them actually," Apollo said nodding slowly.

"What happened to that ones eye?" Boomer asked, nodding his head in Conner's direction. The Leolan looked up quickly, blushed and ducked his head.

"He says he walked into a pole," Apollo told them the boys excuse. "I don't believe him at all, there seem to be knuckle marks along his nose but if he's not going to say anything we aren't going to press the matter…unless he turns out to be one of those hard nut fighters."

"Looking at him I somehow doubt that Apollo, he's not exactly big is he?" Starbuck laughed gently and waved once at the kid who blushed and went back to his work quickly. The exam finished, the computer marked them and the scores were displayed. Only two men had been found to be unsuitable and that was only because they seemed to be more inclined towards being mechanics. Conner's marks were at the top of the group, not the very top but nearly so.

"Well it's good to see results that high. You're training will begin bright and early tomorrow morning, try and get some sleep or you won't survive," Apollo said with a laugh as some of the men loudly congratulated each other. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

Their first day of training was as he had warned, difficult and long but also very fun. They had their first experiences on the simulator and all of them died at least once but luckily they all took it in good spirits.

"And you are dead," Starbuck said slowly. The class laughed.

"Again?" Elgin asked sadly, "What did I do this time?"

"Over powered your engine and then fired, basically your engine just overloaded and blew up," Starbuck grinned down at him, "We may need to work on that before we go out into the actual Vipers."

"Yeah, I'd rather not blow myself up," Elgin said getting up out of the seat. Conner replaced him and began his own simulation. His hands shook as he moved the joystick carefully, keeping the viper slow.

"That's good Conner, now navigate the course," Starbuck said, leaning behind him to look in the screen as Conner carefully did as he was told. His hands began to shake more as the course got harder and his viper control started to slip, "Don't panic Conner, you're doing well."

"New record everyone, Conner's got the furthest," Elgin told the group. Apollo arrived and stood behind the partition also watching the screen as Conner shakily continued and, first in the class finished the route.

"Ok, now the shooting range Conner," Starbuck said calling up that test. Conner took a deep breath then started, biting his lip gently. He missed the first target but got it on his second try. The same happened with the second and third. "Loosen up a bit, you're missing because you're worrying too much. Wait for it to be in the centre of your target screen and then fire."

"Right," Conner waited this time and hit it first time. "I got it."

"There you go, a couple more of them and we'll take it up a level, put in another viper for you to not hit," Starbuck grinned.

"What? None of the others had to do that!" Conner complained hurriedly

"That's because by this point they'd all died," he said giving the class a wry look that made them laugh. "Ok here comes your friend, don't hit him or this lot will never want to fly with you."

"Oooohhhhhhhh," Conner groaned as he began this level with everyone watching in anticipation. "Ah, no, the other vipers being chased!"

"So wait until they've gone past and hit the Cylon," Starbuck explained.

"You make it sound easy," Conner grumbled. His entire upper body was trembling and he was biting his lip painfully. He fired.

"Almost, unfortunately you blew up both of them by firing too early and for too long. You did get the Cylon but you also got your friend," Starbuck said, "Don't worry, it'll come with practise which you will be getting plenty of. Next person." Conner got up and turned around, seeing Apollo for the first time. The Captain smiled at him and mimed applauding. Conner blushed and went over to Elgin who congratulated him on getting the furthest.

"I'm so embarrassed, I didn't mean to be better than everyone else and I didn't mean to kill that viper," Conner said quietly, "I just meant to blend in with everyone else, not stand out!"

"What's so bad with being a natural at it? Nothing I tell you. I'd be very pleased if I could do that. I got blown up on the target remember," Elgin said with a smile. Conner smiled and nodded shyly then turned and watched the person on the simulator crash into the Battlestar rather spectacularly.

"Well done, well done. No one's managed to do that spectacular a death yet."

"So how are the new pilots coming along?" Adama asked his son and Starbuck as they ate dinner that night. Boxey was talking quietly with Athena about something that happened in play time that day but stopped when the pilots were brought up, he liked hearing about the pilots.

"They are doing well, some more so than others. Only one hasn't died on the simulators though and since this is their first day of training that is a new record," Apollo said with a small laugh, "And only one managed to steer so badly he hit the Galactica."

"Oh that's good to know," Adama said with a grin.

"Are they really that bad?" Boxey asked loudly from his end of the table.

"They're not bad Boxey, it takes a long times to learn to fly," Apollo said with a chuckle, "Just wait until you're old enough and you'll understand." They continued to eat and talk about the day, discussing their happenings and dealings from the day especially Boxey who had a very amusing story about a science experiment that went wrong in class resulting in a poor girls hair going green and blue.

"She looked so ridiculous! We were all laughing and she ran out crying. I felt really bad then," he said, his smile faltering slightly.

"It's alright, I caught up with her and took her home with permission for extra shower time until her hair was normal again and if it isn't by tomorrow she's allowed to stay home. Poor thing was really in tears about it," Athena told the adults.

"Oh good, I like Danalina," Boxey's comment brought a raised eyebrow from Starbuck aimed at Apollo. The meal ended quickly and Athena offered to take Boxey home for Apollo so that the three warrior men could stay later.

"Not too late, I can't baby-sit all night you know," she told them as she left and Starbuck laughed.

"Shame, we could have had some fun on the Rising Star, all night clubbing," he said, trying to sound serious but it just made Apollo laughed and gently touched the blondes cheek in a gentle caress.

"Are you two ever going to get sealed?" Adama asked as he poured himself some Ambrosa.

"Maybe," both answered at the same time, "We're letting Boxey get used to the idea of two fathers," Apollo continued, "It's not your everyday thing is it?"

"No it's not but it's not the first in the fleet," Adama said with a small smile remembering the other two same sex ceremonies. "And it's not like it's frowned upon any more."

"Yeah we know Commander and it's not like anyone would give us any hassle anyway for fear of getting your wrath but we're just taking it slow," Starbuck said with the his trademark grin, white teeth flashing. "It's about the only thing we have ever taken slow isn't it love?"

"Starbuck, one day I'm going to kill you," Apollo growled as Adama chuckled. "I think we'd best get going. See you tomorrow father. Starbuck, out." Starbuck jumped up, still grinning as if he hadn't let slip a possible secret about their sex life to Apollo's father.

"Night Commander," was all the LT said before he was pulled out into the corridor by a bright red Apollo. "What's wrong Apollo? All I meant was that we were always rushing into battles and fights. What do you think I meant?"

"Oh I know what you really meant Starbuck and that is why I suggest that you start running now." Starbuck obeyed, Apollo followed with a shout.

"You've all done extremely well and deserve to have passed the test. The passing out parade will be in two days time, you're families may attend if they wish. And after that you will be assigned to your squadrons and become fully fledged colonial warriors," Apollo said to the group of men and women who had all passed.

"And until the passing out parade you have a two day furlough," Starbuck added with a grin. Some of the group gave cheers and rushed off to make their plans. Conner's mind was in a whirl, should he go over to the freighter? See his father and brother? Invite them? Would they even come?

"Aren't you going to go and make plans?" Apollo asked the only one yet to move from his spot. Conner looked up startled and bit his lip slightly.

"Y-Yes, I'd best um best go and…bye Captain," Conner's stutter suddenly re-appeared, a thing that hadn't happened all through training. The two officers picked up on this and watched the small boy hurrying away, his teeth gnawing at his thumb nail. How would his father react to seeing him again after all this time?

He stepped out of the shuttle and grimaced at the dreadful state that the landing bay was in, the walls filthy and boxes were stacked high beside them. Some of the other passengers from the shuttle were met by their families but not Conner, it was lucky that he remembered where he used to live on this disgusting ship. The corridors were as small as he remembered and filled with people dodging out of each others way. His family lived in one of the many communal rooms, a room shared between two or three families depending on their size and when he reached it the door was open because of a little boy in only a nappy chewing on a wooden toy sat there.

"Dad?" he stepped around the boy and into the room, a converted storage room with two rows of beds, curtains separating them tied neatly away during the day. Two more young children were sat on one of the beds, reading a book together, looks of utter concentration on both of their faces. Only one adult was in the room sitting on the bed in the corner, the only un-made bed and drinking from a bottle that was clearly filled with some form of strong alcohol. "Dad it's me, Conner…"

"What the frack are you doing back here? Get out!" his father slurred, stumbling to his feet while allowing the bottle to drop onto the bed. "Get out!"

"Dad don't be like that, I've passed the tests, I'm a full colonial warrior and there's a-there's a ceremony for us-" Conner backed away slowly as his drunken father advanced on him.

"You think I'd go to a ceremony for you? You ran off to join them leaving me to look after your brother and to bring in the money! You really think I'd go to your ceremony you worthless piece of filth?" His father shouting at him like this had always frightened Conner for as long as he could remember and he found himself shaking badly as he answered,

"I-I sent you most of my p-pay so you could care for him-" he let out a little scream as he was slammed against the wall, a hand squeezing tightly around his throat while another gave him one sharp slap around the face.

"I didn't need your money! I needed you to watch him but even you couldn't stand that pathetic brat, winding all day and night for his fracking mummy! She's dead! She's not coming back!" The hand squeezed tighter as his voice rose, the subject of their mother was a poor subject. He'd never kept it a secret that he'd been forced to marry her when she fell pregnant at 16 and their marriage had been one of arguments since then, he didn't even want the children he had through her. Conner suspected he didn't really care that they had died, all his father seemed to care about was drinking and having fun on the rising star with some of the younger girls.

"Dad-Dad please-I can't breath!" Conner tried to pull his fathers hand away from his throat but his futile attempts only made his father place his other hand there. Conner's lips were beginning to turn blue.

"You couldn't wait to run away could you? No better than her the scheming bitch…ashamed of me you are…"

"Dad-please-I-I can't-" his father let go suddenly and Conner dropped to the floor, cry heaving as he tried to force air down his partially crushed windpipe.

"Get out." Conner couldn't breathe properly let alone move. "GET OUT!" His father kicked him roughly in an attempt to force him to move, continued kicking him again and again. His ribs, his back, his shoulder, his arm, his thigh. Tears leaked from his eyes as the abuse continued and his mind asked a simple question _'You knew what he was like, why did you even come?'_

"Con?" a quiet voice asked from the doorways. Turning his head while his father kicked his chest again and saw his only surviving brother, bruises covering his face, his lips split. "You came back? Lords of Kobol dad stop!" He rushed forwards but their drunken father pushed the frail boy away as if he were little more than a fly.

"Stay out of this you little brat, your brother deserves this for all he's done! It's his fault I had to marry the fracking bitch!" The boot swung again but this time the blow caught him on the cheek. His head snapped to the side, the skin on his cheeks was pulled apart by the rough sole of the boot, a sickening crack came from his cheekbone and blood began to pour steadily from the room. Conner screamed.

"Dad stop!" the three other children began to cry while Joss ran forward and pulled their drunken father away with an amount of force he never knew he had, sending him staggering across the room. "Conner? Conner?"

"I'll be alright," Conner whispered, putting a hand to the terrible cut on his cheek. A thud a little way away from them told them that their father had passed out, unsurprising considering how drunk he was.

"Con why did you go away? Don't you love me?"

"Of course I love you but I just couldn't stand it here any longer, the way he talks about mother. I had no future staying here, I saw an opportunity and I took it," Conner cupped his brothers face gently with his free hand. "I am so sorry but I just couldn't stand it."

"I wish I was old enough to go back with you," Joss said quietly, glancing fearfully at their fathers drooling form, "I'm frightened of him so much Conner."

"Does he try and hit the other children?" Conner asked.

"No, only me," a tear fell from Joss's eye as he looked at Conner sadly, "Why doesn't he love us? A father should love their children, they shouldn't want to run away and never come back like I do, like you do." Conner's mind was working quickly, if he took Joss back to the Galactica he could let him sleep in his bed until the ceremony and then once he was a colonial warrior he could ask for someone to take in his brother.

"Then you'd best come back to the Galactica with me," Conner rose awkwardly and took out the old fashioned pencil and pad he kept for emergencies and wrote a quick note,

_Dear Whomever it is reading this, _

_I am Joss's elder brother and I am taking him away from that abusive drunk that is unfortunately our father. Joss is safer with me than with him. _

_From Ensign Conner. Battlestar Galactica. _

"Can you take this to your mummy or daddy and tell them that he's unconscious?" Conner asked the children on the bed. The girl nodded and took the note before both of them rushed out, taking the tiny boy with them. "Joss, get your things, we're going."

"For good?"

"Hopefully yes, for good."

Starbuck was trying not to giggles as Apollo nibbled on the skin under his ear…in the launch bay where anyone could see. Boxey was showing one of his school friends around the vipers, that was why Starbuck was trying not to giggle. Little innocent children who did not need to see them.

"Apollo, they'll notice," Starbuck murmured.

"Let them," Apollo's main answer was to swap sides while allowing his hands to stroke Starbuck's flat stomach through his shirt.

"Apollo, I never thought you of all people would want to corrupt innocents!"

"Boxey's seen us kiss before…"

"I wasn't talking about Boxey."

"Oh don't be such a spoil sport."

"Dad!" They both jumped apart as Boxey and his friends ran over. "Are we allowed to sit in your viper dad? Please?"

"Of course you can, one at a time and no touching anything. I'll come and supervise you lot," Apollo said as he stepped around Starbuck to face the kids. "Who first then? You alright on your own for a bit Starbuck?" Starbuck glared slightly at his love who simply blew him a kiss and took the children over to the viper.

"Joss these are my friends. This is my brother Joss and he's staying until after the ceremony when I can arrange somewhere else for him to stay," Conner said to his friends all in the room.

"Conner! You're face?" Elgin gasped horrified at the drying blood.

"It's nothing, just a scratch, come on Joss. This is my bed here," Conner took his brother over to his bunk, the other men's eyes following the two bruised, battered and bleeding figures.

"This place is huge," Joss said quietly to him.

"I know, that's how I felt when I first got here," Conner smiled at his brother before it quickly turned into a grimace. "I'm going to have to go and get this looked at I'm afraid, I'll say I fell over or something. If anyone asks that's what you say."

"You mean you haven't told anyone about…"

"No. It'd just make things complicated, it's simpler to just stick to the classic lie. I'll be back later. Don't leave the mess and if you need anything ask Elgin, he's the worried looking blond one there," Conner pointed to his friend. The other staring warriors looked away and pretended to be busy doing something else.

"Where are you going?" Elgin asked as Conner headed to the door.

"To have a med-tech look at my cheek, I'll be back as soon as I can," Conner left quickly and Joss shifted nervously as the warriors moved closer to him.

"So how old are you Joss?" one asked, trying to sound cheerful while really they were all examining the bruises.

"I'll be thirteen in a month and two days," he told them with a small smile.

"How did you get all those bruises?"

"Fell over." The answer was immediate, practised and said many times before but this time it was said far too fast. He was lying to them. "How old do you have to be to join the warriors?"

"Sixteen so you've got a little wait ahead," someone answered with a smile."Yeah but at least I'll be waiting here, not with…" he stopped speaking and blushed under the bruises, "I mean not back on that disgusting freighter." Some of the men went back to their own things but the majority stayed around the young boy who smiled shyly around at them.

"So how come you've moved in here with us? Doesn't your father mind?" Elgin asked. Joss bit his lip, accidentally pulling one of the splits in it open.

"No he doesn't mind…where we were living wasn't that nice and-and he wanted me to-to um to have all the chances I deserved so he-he let Conner bring me here," Joss mentally kicked himself. He sounded so pathetic it was sadly obvious that he had been lying to them and from the looks of it they weren't too pleased about being lied to.

"Care to tell us the truth? Or do you expect us to believe that?"

"That was the um truth."

"We'll ask Conner when he returns."

"No! I mean no, don't do that. I came to have a future and that's the truth," Joss said quickly, his manner panicked as he turned away from them and bit his lip once more, "That's all there is to it."

"We'll ask Conner later when the kids asleep," Elgin said quietly to his friends as they went about their own business. Conner returned nearly a centar later, a white medical patch over his cheek and immediately he went over to Joss who looked worried and began to speak immediately.

"Con I'm so sorry they asked me questions and I lied like you said but I think that they know I was lying I'm sorry I didn't mean to give it away I really am sorry Con-" Conner stopped his brothers one breath sentence by putting a hand over his trembling mouth.

"It's ok, I'll sort it out if they ask. Don't worry. I think it's for the best you go to bed now," Conner said with a smile, gently pushing Joss's hair back from his forehead. The younger boy nodded and pulled out his pyjama's from where Conner had placed them in the locker.

"Where are you going to sleep? Please don't lie to me Con…you'd tell me if there wasn't anywhere for you to sleep…" Joss asked sadly as he changed quickly, trying to hide his thin and bruised body from the men. They noticed.

"Honestly Joss, don't worry. Just go to sleep, I'm sure you need it and you must be very tired. We can talk more in the morning," Conner gently kissed his brothers forehead and walked over to his friends. "I suppose you want to talk?"

"Yes." They walked over to the other side of the room before beginning their interrogation of poor Conner.

"Ask your questions," Conner looked around at the concerned faces and couldn't help that sad smile that broke out on his face, "I cannot guarantee that the answers I give will be ones that you want to hear."

"Where did the bruises come from?"

"A good first question. Well the answer is a fist or a boot. Next question?"

"Whose?"

"That I can't tell you."

"Is there much more than your face and throat?"

"Only a few bruises."

"Where are you really going to sleep?" Conner sighed and gestured to the floor. "The floor? You can't do that, you won't get a wink of sleep."

"Oh it's alright, I've done it many times back on the freighter before coming here," Conner smiled at them slightly, "It's not actually as bad as you'd think. Is that all your questions?"

"Was it your father? Is that why you brought your brother back with you?"

"You can think that if you like," Conner's face gave away nothing as he smiled up at them, "I'm going to bed now so I'll see you in the morning." He walked back over to the sleeping Joss and checked he was firmly tucked in before he pulled a spare pillow and blanket from the cupboard and settled down on the floor, still fully dressed and closed his eyes.

"I reckon it was their father and all, maybe they'll talk more later on."

Conner woke before the rest of the men so that he could dress without them seeing the purple bruises all of his body and so that he could put the blanket and pillow away before Joss saw where he'd spent the night.

"Morning Conner," the voice behind him made him jump and when he turned he found Elgin smiling at him. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't, it's just that I didn't expect people to be up this early in the morning," Conner smiled slightly. Elgin was only in his boxers and had obviously just rolled out of bed when he saw Conner up and awake.

"So you could hide the bruises I just saw?"

"Yes and that I slept on the floor from Joss, he wouldn't have slept if he'd known," Conner explained to his best friend. Elgin looked at the innocent little boy in the bed, a small smile on his face and knew why Conner had done what he did. Elgin knew he would have if it had been him in Conner's place. "Please don't tell him."

"I won't, looking forward to the ceremony tomorrow?"

"Not really if my face and neck still looks like this," Conner gestured to the finger print bruises and patch. "A great look for the commander see, they must think I'm a fist happy brawler or something."

"Why don't you tell them what's happened?" Elgin asked as he began to dress.

"I might have to when I try to sort out a place for Joss to live after the ceremony but…"

"But what?"

"I don't want to burden them with my troubles till I have to."

"You think it would be a burden for someone like Captain Apollo to help you?" Elgin asked amazed.

"Yes, he's got his own life to deal with, he doesn't need the problems of a cadet as well," Conner's answer was calm and would have held a lot of sense considering the Captain's open relationship with Starbuck and his son Boxey but only if you didn't know the Captain.

"That's a load of felgarkarb and you know it. He would bend over backwards to help anyone who came to him in need. Why won't you go to him?"

"I guess I just don't want it to become the knowledge of the fleet that I had to steal my brother away from a drunken abusive wretch who blames us for everything that went wrong in his life!" Conner couldn't stop himself shouting at his friend, couldn't stop the words coming out. He paled as Elgin's expression changed to one of shock and ran from the room, ignoring the cries from Elgin to come back and the murmurs from the men he'd just woken up.

Apollo sorted out Starbuck's dress uniform as he usually did, somehow Starbuck still always managed to look messy in the uniform. Today was the ceremony for the graduating warriors and as their teachers they had to set an example. When finally Apollo was satisfied with both of their appearances they made their way to the launch bay which had been prepared and decorated for the ceremony.

"Lords of Kobol look at Conner's face!" Starbuck gasped as they entered. They both stared at the patch and bruised neck. "What has he done? It looks like he entered a boxing match!"

"Yeah, and lost. Look at the marks on his neck," Apollo said with a wince. The pair waved to Boxey who was standing with Cassiopeia and the rest of his class to watch the ceremony and joined Commander Adama. While the Commander spoke Starbuck looked around the group of civilians watching the ceremony, mainly it seemed to be the families of the warriors who had just passed. But it was one of the crowd that caught the captains attention, a thin boy with a bruised face smiling shyly towards Conner.

"Apollo look at that boy," Starbuck hissed quietly.

"Starbuck what is it with you and ceremonies?" Apollo asked embarrassed by his lover talking during a ceremony once again.

"Apollo forget the ceremony and look at that boy's face!" Starbuck hissed. Apollo was going to reprimand him once again when he saw the boy and gave a gasp. "A relation of Conner's do you think?"

"His face…" they were brought out of their quiet conversation by clapping breaking out, the warriors had been announced. They joined in quickly and then stood to attention while the ceremonial parade was dismissed. Boxey ran over to them but their attention was fixed on Conner and the boy who were talking with small identical smiles on their faces.

"Dad?" Boxey asked worriedly looking up at Apollo.

"Oh I'm sorry Boxey we were ignoring you, come on let's get going," Apollo said with a smile as he picked his still tiny son up.

"What were you staring at?"

"We were just wondering who someone was. Starbuck thought he recognised them but turns out he was wrong. Not surprising eh?" Apollo joked earning him a light cuff around the head from his lover. Boxey giggled loudly at his dad's shocked look and Starbuck's indignant one, not aware that it was all an act.

Two weeks later the Cylon's attacked. No one had been expecting it, Conner was in the middle of organising a bed for Joss in another room when the red light began to flash and the claxon began to roar. He was down in the launch bay as quickly as he could and was ready almost as soon as Starbuck and Apollo were.

"Just remember your training," Apollo said through the comm once all the vipers were up. Conner was shaking like he had been his first time on the simulator but he didn't have much time to think about it before he had to fire.

The battle was long and violent, losses were heavy but the worst didn't happen till the last few moments. Apollo's viper took a glancing hit, his engines started to fail with no chance of him making it back to the Galactica. All he could do was aim for the next habitable planet and hope someone noticed the viper going down, he couldn't even broadcast his distress because flames were coming out of the comm unit.

"I'm going after him!" Conner screamed as he saw what was happening to the left of him. Starbuck's head snapped up worriedly just in time to see one of the viper's hit their turbo's going after a flaming viper hitting the planet's atmosphere.

"Conner! Don't go after him! We can get whoever it is later!" Starbuck ordered, not realising just who it was.

"No! It's Captain Apollo! He'll be hurt! You can come and g--t----oth--f---s---la---r," crackling took over as Conner left Starbuck's range leaving a very worried and gasping blond behind him.

"Apollo?" he asked weakly.

"Starbuck look out! You've got a Cylon on your tail!"

"Frack!"

"Captain? Captain!" his panicked cry rang out on the alien planet. His breathing was quick and sharp as he remembered seeing the Captain's viper take a hit and go down into the atmosphere of this planet. Even though he knew he should have reported back to the Galactica with this devastating news he had not been able to do anything other than land his viper near the crashed wreck of his captain's, resulting in where he was now, calling out for the wounded man. "Captain Apollo!"

There was no reply. He climbed up onto the viper and looked in what was left of the cockpit; the emergency life bag was gone so Apollo had gone wherever he was willingly and in the knowledge that he was going to be here for a while. That made Conner feel a whole lot better, no rescue to plan. Easily the young Leolan jumped to the ground and looked for any sign pointing to which way the probably wounded Captain would have gone.

"Captain Apollo?" he asked again. Nothing…but wait…crouching low he looked at what appeared to be a red streak on a white tree trunk. It was only very small but it was still wet to the touch and felt like… "Blood. Hold on Captain, I will find you, I will!" He ran to his own viper and grabbed the emergency kit including a reasonable med kit thankfully and rushed out into the wilderness of a strange land, following the little trail of blood hat was obviously coming from his Captain's wound.

His tracking which seemed to go on for hours to him was forced to come to an abrupt halt when he ran out of anything to follow, either the bleeding had stopped or Apollo had noticed his wound and had bound it. This was not good for a young cadet trying to find him, now regretting that he hadn't simply reported what had happened and let someone experience like Starbuck or Boomer come and find the Captain.

"If I were Captain Apollo where would I be heading?" he asked himself quietly, looking ahead for any clues. "Who am I kidding, if I were Captain Apollo I'd be dead by now and if he were me he'd be doing the sensible thing of returning the Galactica and reporting, he would not be here." He looked up and his gaze fell on a large rock face…a rock face with caves? "He's heading for the caves!"

The Leolan took off at a run, jumping around trees that got in the way and jumping over the roots which had been uncovered over time. His legs began to burn but her kept going, Apollo had been down here since the beginning of the battle while he had only been able to come down when it finished. If the Captain was badly injured he had no time to waste walking. It hurt to breath by the time he got to the caves and he was slightly saddened to find there were rather a few caves.

"Captain Apollo? Are you there? Can you hear me?" That was when he saw the telltale blood on the entrance to one of the caves; his Captain was in the third cave! Easily pulling out the torch from the emergency kit he stepped unafraid into the cave. "Captain Apollo?"

"C-Conner?" the weak voice came from behind and outcropping of rock to his left, "Conner?" He rushed around the rock and ended up practically blinding the injured Captain with the beam of light from his torch.

"Sorry but, oh Captain I found you!" Conner fell to his knees by the older mans side, "I never thought I would. Where are you hurt?" Awkwardly he balanced the torch on a rock as Apollo answered,

"Just my side, something in the Viper cut it…I'm afraid it might be quite bad actually. I'm so tired." He began to drift away so Conner shook him quickly.

"Don't go to sleep, stay awake and stay talking to me. Tell me about anything and everything you want to while I sort this out but first sit up and let me get you out of that shirt and jacket," Conner said professionally after taking off his own flight jacket for Apollo to use as a pillow.

"Ah that hurts…" Apollo gasped only once while they got the shirts off together and then he lay down once more, finding something comfortable beneath his head. Maybe he could just go to sleep…

"Talk to me Captain, I know I'm your junior but that's an order," Conner said strictly as he picked up the Captains emergency bag which was by his side and pulled out the medical supplies to use along with his own if need be. And so with a small laugh Apollo talked, talked about Serena, about Boxey, about Starbuck, about anything that came to mind.

"There, that's the best I can do until help arrives," Conner said as he tied off the last bandage.

"It's getting cold," Apollo mumbled. Conner looked out of the cave and found the light was fading fast. He pulled out the blankets from the emergency packs and covered Apollo with both of them.

"I'm going to run back to my viper and put the scrambled emergency beacon on so they'll know where to find us. I'll be back as quickly as I can," he stood up, taking the other torch with him and ran out of the cave. It took him a while to find his way back to the vipers, leaving himself clues to point him in the right direction back but he managed it and turned the beacon on.

On his journey back he gathered up a large armful of wood and when he was back at the Captain's side he set about making a crude fire, lighting it with his laser pistol. Apollo was asleep, an uneasy sleep in which his body was wracked with shivers. He seemed to calm down when the fire was lit but now Conner had begun to feel the cold as he wore no jacket.

"Captain, you can court marshal me in the morning but I must share your blankets," he muttered as he moved around behind the Captain and slid in beside Apollo, feeling much warmer instantly as he lay close to the older man. Slowly his eyes fell shut and he drifted off into a shockingly blissful sleep.

When he woke up he found himself curled protectively round his injured Captain, head resting on Apollo's uninjured shoulder. The cave was filled with light and warmth and Conner had to resist the urge to stretch like a cat.

"Morning," Apollo said quietly in his ear, pain lacing in his usually pleasant voice. "I take it you were the one I remember last night, talking to me, making me talk, helping me…"

"Yes, that was me. I'm sorry, you were cold so I…sorry," Conner stuttered as he sat up and crawled around the fire so that it was between him and the captain. "I take it your feeling better Captain?"

"A bit but I still hurt, what is going on?" Captain Apollo asked drowsily as Conner quickly checked the wound and found it no worse than it had been but not much better.

"I managed to talk to Starbuck, I mean LT Starbuck, he knows we're down here. They'll be here to rescue us in no time at all," Conner smiled down at the Captain who was obviously trying to hide his pain.

"Good, at least he won't worry so much knowing you're here as well," Apollo looked up at Conner, the sunlight streaming into the cave made his hair look almost like a halo around his head. His eyes, though worried were amazingly beautiful and now that the patch was gone and the scar healed, with the bruises on his neck also gone Apollo could see the boys beauty for what it really was. Enchanting. Why had he not seen this before? Even being with Starbuck since Serena's death he'd still commented on the cute guys in the fleet, so had Starbuck so why had neither of them noticed Conner? "Oh, the bruises…"

"Captain?" Conner asked confused.

"I was wondering why I never noticed your beauty before," Conner blushed deeply, this had to be the pain talking or rather clouding the Captain's vision and brain. "It was all the bruises and that cut." Conner touched the Captain's forehead and found it almost burning hot to the touch.

"You've got a fever Captain," Conner said quickly while pressing a cool hand to each of Apollo's cheeks. "You don't know what you're saying so lets forget about it and get you more comfortable."

"Where did those bruises come from? And that boy at the ceremony, were they from the same place? Who was he?" Apollo asked as he allowed himself to be sat up so that Conner could re-arrange the jacket under his head.

"That boy was my only surviving brother," Conner answered the one question that didn't really matter. Nothing incriminating about that piece of information.

"I didn't know you had a brother."

"I do, his names Joss." Gently he lay Apollo back down. "He's just turned fourteen and I regret to inform you that he has been illegally sleeping in my bed for the last month, only yesterday was the clearance given for his name to be transferred on the records and I was in the middle of organising him a bed somewhere close by when the siren went off."

"Oh. And the bruises?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that Captain, it doesn't matter anyway."

"Does matter."

"Go back to sleep Captain, conserve your strength until Starbuck get's here."

"But…"

"Sleep Captain."

Starbuck landed the shuttle by Conner's viper and felt sick at the sight of the wreck that was Apollo's. Trying to control the fear that washed over him he went outside with the med techs including Cassiopeia and tried to find any clues as to where his lover was.

"Anything?" Cassiopeia asked. No one replied that they had discovered anything for far too long until an excited shout rang out,

"There are twigs in the shape of an arrow and a-a smear of dried blood."

"Follow it!" They did so, finding more arrows and worryingly more blood as they rushed through the alien forest. Soon they were at a cliff face of numerous caves and a choice as to which one was the right one. "Split up, if you find them shout. Loudly." His breathing was sharp with panic as he entered his cave, praying in his mind for Apollo to be alright. There was nothing in his cave and he sighed angrily, heading out again when he heard it, a quiet voice.

"LT Starbuck?"

"Conner?" he rushed back into the cave, deeper this time and came to an outcropping which he quickly dodged around and found Conner knelt by Apollo. "Apollo!" Apollo seemed to be unconscious and worryingly pale.

"He'll be alright, he's lost a lot of blood and needs treatment but he will be fine sir," Conner said quietly as Starbuck called out for the med-techs. "He'll be alright."

"Thank you Conner, for looking after him," Starbuck said quietly as they stood by Apollo's bedside in the life centre. The Captain was out of danger and well on his way to recovery.

"It was nothing LT, nothing at all," Conner said with a small smile before he left the room. Why did it hurt? Why did it hurt to see the open love that Starbuck had for Apollo in his eyes? 'Maybe it's because you want someone in your life to love you like that.' His thought was sad and angry as he made his way back to his mess to find Joss, he doubted very much that Joss's room had been sorted out in his absence.

"Con!" His brother's cry made him smile as he was fiercely hugged. "I was worried you weren't coming back!"

"I'd never do that to you Joss. Has anything been done about a bed for you yet?" Joss shook his head sadly but one of the other men perked up.

"Dife is changing squadrons Conner, his bed will be free unless we get a replacement for him." Joss looked over at the man and smiled slightly, "It's the bunk under mine."

"Well I will take that one for now then and Joss can have mine." No one realised just then that this move would in fact be permanent for a very long time.

3 Sectars Later

Apollo woke up first and thought nothing of the body pressed against him, Starbuck often liked to snuggle after sex. But when he looked down he realised something was very wrong, it was Starbuck with his head on Apollo's chest. The blonde was there, curled up behind the thin body hugging Apollo.

"What the frack?" he asked quietly. The boy sighed and turned his head and Apollo saw Conner's young face, his lips bruised from kissing in a sweet smile. He had a vague memory of drinking with Starbuck, Boomer, Jolly and Conner at the New Yahren celebrations, he remembered Starbuck kissing him and then, already very drunk kissing Conner. But after that was a blur of images, kisses that seemed to mould into one, the pain of penetration mixing with the pleasure and the heat of taking… "Oh frack…"

"'Pollo?" Starbuck asked as he woke curled up with his love…or not his love. "Wait a micron…Apollo?"

"Up here Star - Star what went on last night?" Apollo asked worriedly as Starbuck sat up slowly. Conner remained blissfully asleep, unaware of what was going on around him.

"I don't remember, oh lord's of Kobol Apollo we didn't have sex with a cadet, we can't have," Starbuck gasped quickly, covering his naked body with the sheet.

"Unfortunately I can't remember much either but it looks like we did. Starbuck how could we do that to him, after all he's been through? I mean for fracks sake he's only 17 yahrens old!" Apollo said angrily. Conner mumbled something in his sleep and curled up tighter around Apollo.

"What are we going to do?" Starbuck asked sadly, "I feel so guilty…what if it was his first? You know how we are when we're drunk Apollo, we're not exactly gentle with each other are we?"

"Oh no, I hope it wasn't. I can't believe…we were responsible for him; we are responsible for him! And this is what we do? I don't think I could feel more guilty if I tried," Apollo said sadly.

"Nothin' to feel guilty 'bout," the mumble came from his chest and they both looked down to find Conner watching them. "I was sober, it was my decision. I could have said no." He yawned widely and then smiled at them. "And it wasn't my first time, it was my eight, ninth, tenth and eleventh time." His smile grew at the adult gaped. "Ok I'm exaggerating slightly, we had sex twice and you had sex without me once." He sat up and stretched slightly.

"We didn't force you?" Starbuck asked, just to make sure of the fact that was most important to him.

"No."

"Oh thank the lords of Kobol for that, if we had I'd never forgive myself," he breathed out thankfully. "I'm um going to take a shower, is that ok Apollo as this seems to be your room?"

"Yeah sure, go ahead. I guess it's a good thing father agreed to look after Boxey last night or he might have seen something he shouldn't," Apollo said as he moved away from Conner who was pulling on his clothes slowly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm used to this. I'll just leave and let you two be alone," he said with a sad smile, grinning unhappily at his Captain.

"What do you mean your used to it?" Apollo asked worriedly.

"I've only ever had one night stands," Conner shrugged, "No one wants me when they wake up the morning after. Don't worry about it; I understand your reason. You are my superior aren't you? I'll see you at training Captain." And Conner left calmly, not giving Apollo the time to answer.

A/N This is the first of three parts and I really do hope to finish this story for you lot who read it.


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